Home Sweet Home

Wilderness

More often than not, I am left with the distinct impression that this world is not my home. I am wandering in the wilderness until I am ready for Canaan. Donald Grey Barnhouse gives this definition of God's children:

"Saints are a group of displaced persons, uprooted from their natural home, and on their way to an extraterrestrial destination, not of this planet, neither in its roots or in its ideals."

If that describes you. If you feel a little estranged sometimes, rejoice in that. When you pick up the newspaper and see all of the nonsense and evil in the world, you can take comfort that we are just passing through.

Have you ever held in doubt
What this life is all about
Have you questioned all these things that seem important to us
Do you really wanna know
Or are you a little scared
You’re afraid that God is not really exactly what you’d have Him be
What should I hold to and what should I do
How do I know if anything’s true
I’m somewhere in-between Canaan and Egypt
A place called the wilderness

"Wilderness" - The O.C. Supertones

MCL

Ever heard of MCS (Middle Child Syndrome) or how about the fatal MSS which my beloved Leafs have. The case being in both of them that being in the middle is the worst possible fate. Got me thinking about my own syndrome MCL (Middle Christian Living). Never quite reaching that sacrifice my own son (Genesis 22:2) or walking around in sackcloth eating wild locusts (Mark 1:6) status; while at the same time never hitting the sleep with another man's wife & kill him later (2 Samuel 12) or make money off the Holy Spirit (Acts 8:18) bottom of the barrel living.
A friend once told me that there's no "staying on the fence" because the devil owns the fence.
There is no crime in living the middle of the road Christian life. It's safe. It's nice. It's convenient. You keep your nose clean, stay out of trouble, do just enough to secure salvation. Never truly giving Christ Jesus 100% control of your life. Because if you did that, well who knows what would happen. You'd no longer be in the driver's seat and the Holy Spirit would be directing your life. As much as I try to convince myself that this is a scary concept, it is not. Thus I am not afraid of what living by the Holy Spirit would mean because I know that complete and full surrender to Christ will only give me a full and abundant life (John 10:10) and that I would be at peace & content regardless of my external circumstances (Philippians 4:11). Rather I am comfortable with maintaining the status-quo. It's familiar and I have found a nice little niche. Ahh, but deep down I know that if I would step out and become a man after God's own heart...well the sky would be the limit and who knows what blessings God has in store. He only desires good things for me. He has a wonderful will for my life all drawn up. It is His good & perfect will. I once read that we sometimes think of finding God's will for our lives as being like a multiple-choice exam. We can choose (A) God's good & perfect will; (B) God's pretty good will; or (C) God's OK will.
Unfortunately it doesn't work that way, if we are not living (A) than we are living our own way and missing out on so much more.
The cure for MCL is right there, we just have to be willing to take it. (John 4:14)

God's Grace

"But where sin abounded, grace abounded much more..." --Romans 5:20 (NKJV)

I've been studying these words as of late, they are perhaps the most beautiful words in all of scripture. So many times, I think I have screwed up beyond repair and that the grace of God cannot find me in the darkness that I find myself. But this verse encourages us and throws our senses for a loop. Where sin abounded, grace abounded much more! Where sin is a '1', grace is infinity + '1'
God's grace will always be sufficient to cover our transgressions. That got me thinking as to why we don't always believe it. I think it comes down to pride. Inside we think that our sins are too great and that we must fix them ourselves. We got ourselves into this mess, so we must "un-sin" and than we will be okay. God's free gift of grace & salvation just don't make human sense to us. "I've got to save myself! God's work on the cross might be okay for some people but He doesn't know what I'm like and all the stuff I do. No...I've got to try and fix myself. Start doing good things and be a good person..."
No matter how hard we try, we cannot help ourselves. No matter how independent and determined I am, it will not earn me grace and salvation. Only to realize that where I fail, God's grace succeeds. I come before my Saviour Jesus Christ and accept His grace.

Well I messed up, feel like I can't even lift my eyes up
Covering this stain that I'm ashamed of, the way I take advantage of your love
And I'm terrified, stand before your throne with blood on my hands
I realize it's only by your blood that I can

I knew that is where I'd find you
I don't have to remind you of all the times I've failed you
I knew that is where I'd find you
So this is where I've come to, there's nothing else I can do

I'm confessing I'm up to my ears in transgression
Is this the way I thank you for a blessing?
I know it's hard to tell but I am trying
So here I am with nothing to say for myself
Once again, to plead the blood and nothing else

So here I am with nothing to say for myself
Once again, to plead the blood and nothing else

I knew that is where I'd find you
I don't have to remind you of all the times I've failed you
I knew that is where I'd find you
So this is where I've come to, there's nothing else I can do

~Supertones "Where I Find You"

OK sucks...

I feel alive and it hurts for a change
I’m looking back its hard to believe
That I was cool with the days that I wasted
Complacent and tasteless and bored
But that was yesterday

Chorus
We’re never going back to ok
We’re never going back to easy
We’re never going back to the way it was
We’re never going back to ok

~The Afters

Contrary to popular belief, the Christian life is not the boring, run-of-the-mill, can't do anything lifestyle. Quite the opposite. The truth is that when we submit to Jesus Christ and give Him 100% of ourselves; we are about to embark on the craziest, most exciting time of our lives. Hence the reality that anyone who truly desires to live for Christ and take up their cross is most certainly a little crazy to begin with. Sure you can be luke-warm Christian and go to the services and say the 'right' things but what joy & fulfillment we miss out on because we are content with OK. I was content with OK, but not anymore. Once you experience that fresh breath it's as if your eyes are open to a whole new reality. There is so much more that God intends for us but we're content to eat the scraps off the floor when there's a buffet prepared for us.

German Coast Guard

It gives me some comfort to know amidst my struggles with German that it is a two-way street.
This is so true it's not even funny :-D

You don’t need to know where you’re going if you know the One who does.

Jesus Christ, I think upon Your sacrifice
You became nothing, poured out to death
Many times I've wondered at Your gift of life
And I'm in that place once again
I'm in that place once again

And once again I look upon the cross where You died
I'm humbled by Your mercy and I'm broken inside
Once again I thank You
Once again I pour out my life

Now You are exalted to the highest place
King of the heavens, where one day I'll bow
But for now, I marvel at Your saving grace
And I'm full of praise once again
I'm full of praise once again

Thank You for the cross
Thank You for the cross
Thank You for the cross, my Friend

~Once Again (Matt Redman)

Still one of my favourite songs...I listen to it time & time again and draw strength and encouragement from it. And perhaps not for the reasons one would think; every time I try to do something in my own strength I am reminded of a quote I once read:

"In whatever we do, without God we will either fail miserably or succeed even more miserably."

When I am so sure of everything and all is working out, if God is not in my plans I sense a great lost and eventually come back and fall at His feet. Really not sure what to say but knowing I want His Holy Spirit to come and renew & refresh my heart, mind & soul. Hearing the song just makes me realize how weak & vulnerable I am but also that I have a Redeemer & Saviour who is exceedingly greater than anything I might encounter. And just coming to Him with a broken & contrite spirit; He restores me...Once Again