Wilderness

More often than not, I am left with the distinct impression that this world is not my home. I am wandering in the wilderness until I am ready for Canaan. Donald Grey Barnhouse gives this definition of God's children:

"Saints are a group of displaced persons, uprooted from their natural home, and on their way to an extraterrestrial destination, not of this planet, neither in its roots or in its ideals."

If that describes you. If you feel a little estranged sometimes, rejoice in that. When you pick up the newspaper and see all of the nonsense and evil in the world, you can take comfort that we are just passing through.

Have you ever held in doubt
What this life is all about
Have you questioned all these things that seem important to us
Do you really wanna know
Or are you a little scared
You’re afraid that God is not really exactly what you’d have Him be
What should I hold to and what should I do
How do I know if anything’s true
I’m somewhere in-between Canaan and Egypt
A place called the wilderness

"Wilderness" - The O.C. Supertones

MCL

Ever heard of MCS (Middle Child Syndrome) or how about the fatal MSS which my beloved Leafs have. The case being in both of them that being in the middle is the worst possible fate. Got me thinking about my own syndrome MCL (Middle Christian Living). Never quite reaching that sacrifice my own son (Genesis 22:2) or walking around in sackcloth eating wild locusts (Mark 1:6) status; while at the same time never hitting the sleep with another man's wife & kill him later (2 Samuel 12) or make money off the Holy Spirit (Acts 8:18) bottom of the barrel living.
A friend once told me that there's no "staying on the fence" because the devil owns the fence.
There is no crime in living the middle of the road Christian life. It's safe. It's nice. It's convenient. You keep your nose clean, stay out of trouble, do just enough to secure salvation. Never truly giving Christ Jesus 100% control of your life. Because if you did that, well who knows what would happen. You'd no longer be in the driver's seat and the Holy Spirit would be directing your life. As much as I try to convince myself that this is a scary concept, it is not. Thus I am not afraid of what living by the Holy Spirit would mean because I know that complete and full surrender to Christ will only give me a full and abundant life (John 10:10) and that I would be at peace & content regardless of my external circumstances (Philippians 4:11). Rather I am comfortable with maintaining the status-quo. It's familiar and I have found a nice little niche. Ahh, but deep down I know that if I would step out and become a man after God's own heart...well the sky would be the limit and who knows what blessings God has in store. He only desires good things for me. He has a wonderful will for my life all drawn up. It is His good & perfect will. I once read that we sometimes think of finding God's will for our lives as being like a multiple-choice exam. We can choose (A) God's good & perfect will; (B) God's pretty good will; or (C) God's OK will.
Unfortunately it doesn't work that way, if we are not living (A) than we are living our own way and missing out on so much more.
The cure for MCL is right there, we just have to be willing to take it. (John 4:14)

God's Grace

"But where sin abounded, grace abounded much more..." --Romans 5:20 (NKJV)

I've been studying these words as of late, they are perhaps the most beautiful words in all of scripture. So many times, I think I have screwed up beyond repair and that the grace of God cannot find me in the darkness that I find myself. But this verse encourages us and throws our senses for a loop. Where sin abounded, grace abounded much more! Where sin is a '1', grace is infinity + '1'
God's grace will always be sufficient to cover our transgressions. That got me thinking as to why we don't always believe it. I think it comes down to pride. Inside we think that our sins are too great and that we must fix them ourselves. We got ourselves into this mess, so we must "un-sin" and than we will be okay. God's free gift of grace & salvation just don't make human sense to us. "I've got to save myself! God's work on the cross might be okay for some people but He doesn't know what I'm like and all the stuff I do. No...I've got to try and fix myself. Start doing good things and be a good person..."
No matter how hard we try, we cannot help ourselves. No matter how independent and determined I am, it will not earn me grace and salvation. Only to realize that where I fail, God's grace succeeds. I come before my Saviour Jesus Christ and accept His grace.

Well I messed up, feel like I can't even lift my eyes up
Covering this stain that I'm ashamed of, the way I take advantage of your love
And I'm terrified, stand before your throne with blood on my hands
I realize it's only by your blood that I can

I knew that is where I'd find you
I don't have to remind you of all the times I've failed you
I knew that is where I'd find you
So this is where I've come to, there's nothing else I can do

I'm confessing I'm up to my ears in transgression
Is this the way I thank you for a blessing?
I know it's hard to tell but I am trying
So here I am with nothing to say for myself
Once again, to plead the blood and nothing else

So here I am with nothing to say for myself
Once again, to plead the blood and nothing else

I knew that is where I'd find you
I don't have to remind you of all the times I've failed you
I knew that is where I'd find you
So this is where I've come to, there's nothing else I can do

~Supertones "Where I Find You"